its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
