youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
