theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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