I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
