Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
