I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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