haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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