why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
whose parrot is this?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
