you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
