what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
