I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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