I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
