Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
