BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
