He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
