Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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