I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
