Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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