Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
