i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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