And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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