I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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