Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
