they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize