I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
