idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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