how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
