fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
