$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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