and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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