The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
