hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
