Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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