So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
