He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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