Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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