Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
