But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
