nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
