Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
