Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
