i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize