I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
