Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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