its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
