Please, let me fuck your mom
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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