Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
