Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
