SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize