Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize