I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
