so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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