Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize