"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
