i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
