On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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