so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
cat food counts as protein by the way
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
