Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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