I must be too annoying 4 u.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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